Teen Titans: A Cinderella Story
by disappearerSyani
Summary: A psychotic villain named StoryTeller sends the Titans into the Cinderella story. Can they survive the classic story of love, trust and...love? R&R please! Pairings: RobStar, BbRae. Chapter 5 is UP, sorta...
1. The StoryTeller

**Chapter 1: The Story-Teller **

**Disclaimer: I do not own TT:(, but I do own the characters. (sort of)**

* * *

Syani: I have nothing to say, just enjoy this fanfic that isn't very good, I can tell. 

BB: Well, okay, can I say something?

Raven: No.

Starfire: Now, what kind of story are you writing, friend Syani?

Syani: Fairy tale...

Cyborg who was sipping hot chocolate suddenly burst it out from his nose and BB starts laughing at him.

Robin: Fairy tale? You mean the kind where we wear flashy tights and recite gushy love poems and getting in a state of euphoria...!

Rae: That's what's I'm afraid of...

Syani: Sorry guys. Good luck in the story... :)

* * *

At the Titans Tower, all the titans were minding their own businesses as usual. Robin was in the kitchen cooking lunch, Starfire was in her room playing with her puppet, Beast Boy and Cyborg were playing video games and Raven was getting pretty annoyed by the two idiots that kept screaming and yelling "I'm winning, I'm winning!" all the time whenever she's reading. 

"Will you two SHUT UP!",yelled Raven as a lamp exploded from her surging energy.

"Whoa, Rae, cool it. We're just playing video games...", answered Cyborg. Beast Boy took this distraction as an advantage and started to kick some Cyborg butt.

Suddenly, the video game screen turned off. "Rae! No! I almost beat him!", screamed Beast Boy. Raven raised an eyebrow. "I didn't do that. And even if I wanted to, I couldn't," Raven implied.

"It couldn't possibly be a black-out, the air-conditioning and lights are still on", said Cyborg as he's trying to figure out the possibilities with a sigh of relief that BB didn't break his record..

"What's going on?", asked Robin, who sprinted out of the kitchen to check the situation. Starfire followed suit, only she floated instead of sprinted, ya know, she flew...

"It's Raven! She used her powers to turn off the screen!", accused Beast Boy, pointing at an irate Raven.

"Beast Boy, I don't have the power to turn off electricity", Raven reminded him. "I wish," she quietly added to herself.

"Then, who did?", Cyborg said as he felt being left out this little argument (no one cared).

Suddenly, the TV screen turned on but it's not the game that's BB and Cyborg were playing before, it's someone they didn't know. He looked like your typical starry blue-robed wizard with a pointy hat, and blue glasses, and looks kinda like Gollum.

"Who are you, man with strange attire?", asked Starfire, speaking for the first time, in this story of course.

"I am the Story-teller, and I am your worst nightmare! Yes I am,", he said. "I have traveled far and wide, telling stories out loud and full of pride! Enchanting people into fairy-tales is what I do best, for my entertainment and my other _guests! _I have guests, yes I do," _Psycho_ was on every Titans's mind right now. "And a special story for special actors: the Teen Titans will be the main factor! You like, yes?"

"Did you escaped from a nuthouse? And how'd you get on our T.V?", Beast Boy shouted back.

He raised his eyebrows and smiled evilly (He had teeth that made Robin gasped for air). Out of nowhere, he whipped out a wand and literally drew a symbol on the screen that looked like fairy tale book cover page, thing.

"What's wrong, Rae?", asked Beast Boy as her eyes widened in horror at the sight of the symbol.

"That symbol! It looks... familiar," answered Raven, She has seen that symbol before, but where? After a quick second of backtracking, Raven went pale with realization.

"That's a transportation symbol! He's going to send us into a fairy-tale!", Raven exclaimed in horror.

When the boys heard the words 'fairy tale', they bolted off like lightning. But they were too late, the Story-teller just finished his symbol and said loudly, and clearly, "Cinderella!".

"No," Raven muttered under her breath. In a second or two, she felt something strange below her feet and was shocked to see that her legs were starting to disappear. She looked at her friends and they too experienced the same thing.

"Guys, you'll have to play the parts as best as you can!" yelled Raven.

"But I do not know how to play," Starfire innocently said, trying to keep calm as her body started to dissapear as well. The same was happening to the others.

"Just do your best and remember, don't do anything stupid when he takes control of you or who knows what that madman would do!", said Raven as her head started disappearing and all that was left was an empty Titans Tower.

The Story-teller laughs hysterically as he disappeared from the TV screen and appeared on the sofa in front of the TV.

"Let the story... begin!", he said and turned on the TV. With a few other _guests _starting to pop up. (They'll be a surprise)


	2. 2 Lovely Little Girls

**Chapter 2: Two Lovely Little Girls**

**Disclaimer: Again, I don't own Teen Titans, but soon... I will! Muahahahaha! (yeah right Syani, heh heh...)**

* * *

Everyone's jaws (other than Syani's) were dangling off their skin. 

Syani: You guys! Come on, don't be so... shocked!

Cyborg: Okay, okay...

The Titans grabbed their jaws and stuffed them back to their original positions.

Rae: So, she's going to be Cinderella?

Syani: Yeah, come to think of it, I'll named her Starella. What do you think?

Everyone's jaws were dangling again and staring into space.

Syani: Okay, okay, just Starfire. Happy now?

They turned back to normal.

Rae: All right, so, why is this chapter called "2 Lovely Little Girls" ?

Beast Boy dropped on all fours and laughed with simplistic gusto. Starfire looked confused.

Syani: Hey, I don't remember writing this chapter! Oh yeah, a friend of mine (Disappearer) helps me out with this story. He must've edited this chapter!

Everyone's jaws were dangling again and staring into space.

Syani: Ugh! You guys are killing me!

Rae: Good.

* * *

**Cyborg (narrator)**: Once upon a time, there lived a little girl named Starfire of Frell. She had the perfect family, a nice mum and a responsible dad. But when Star's mum died, her father wedded another woman. 

Starfire's stepmother's name is… JINX? Err… Jinx had 2 other daughters as well: KITTEN and TERRA?

"This is getting ridiculous, Terra's a rock!", Cyborg whispered to a dumbfounded BB.

"Remember, this is the Story-teller's story... he can make anything possible," whispered Raven to the both of them. Cyborg went back to narrating.

**Cyborg (narrator):**When Starfire's father died, her stepmother and stepsisters treated her like a maid. Starfire didn't want to betray her stepmother, so she did every order they gave her, and was forced to sleep outside of the house.

When Star turned petite 13, she met a maid from the awful neighbors next door (they were taxidermists). Her name is Raven of Crows, she'sa quiet and calm enough girl, but with an attitude that could kill ya!

Cyborg started to snicker. "Raven of Crows! HAHAHAHA, oww!" He received a rather painful backhand from a certain changeling. "Stop yakking and start reading!" Beast Boy commanded. Cyborg looked at B.B in disbelief, but continued.

**Cyborg (narrator): **Raven found Starfire sleeping behind the house. She was shivering from the cold weather they had last night. Raven pitied her, so she took her into her makeshift hut nearby.

"Where am I?", asked Starfire when she awakened. She felt a neat stack of hay below her.

"In my hut," said Raven. She sipped her cup of herbal tea as she poured some tea for Starfire.

"Your hut?"

"Yes, I built it. You can stay here and sleep if you like,"

Starfire smiled and hugged Raven tightly.

"You're hugging me Star!",gasped Raven. That girl always had problems with people getting all touchy-feely with her. It made her sick.

Ever since Raven's good deed, they became close friends and helped each other's problems. When Raven doesn't have any food to cook for her master and mistress, Starfire gave her some. When Starfire had problems catching the chickens, Raven was ready to help.

Cyborg raised an eyebrow. _Raven can catch chickens? Who wrote this stupid script?_

**Cyborg (narrator):** Four years has passed, andStarfire had grown into a beautiful seventeen-year-old young lady. She has a long flowing red hair, her skin is fair and is always wearing an old torned dress, as she's a maid, sadly enough.

Raven on the other hand, has also blossomed into a gorgeous sixteen-ner with the silkiest hair and the palest of skins and such radiant violet eyes... with an attitude to, miss-match? And like Starfire, an old torned dress.

When Starfire is doing the laundry outside her house, a postman came and delivered a mail. He delivered it to Raven's master's house as well. So, they both went in and gave the envelope to the owners of the houses.

Jinx and her daughters were practicing their singing (which were absolutely dreadful), and Starfire politely knocked on the door.

"Why that no good maid! She's always bugging us," said Kitten.

"She's not a maid, she's our stepsister, remember? Don't be so mean to her," protested Terra. She's a bit different from Kitten because her dead stepfather's affections has rubbed on her. It made Kitten sick to the core. (Much to Raven's delight)

"Come in!" yelled Jinx, sprucing up her hair to look her best.

Starfire gave the mail to Jinx and she quickly opened it. Her face was filled with glee as she read it.

"What's the matter, mother?", asked Kitten.

"We're invited to the castle for a royal dance! The prince wants to choose one of the young ladies to be his bride!", screamed Jinx in joy while reading the mail.

Starfire over-heard that and so she politely asked, "Could I come?"

"Certainly not! But you'll be preparing our dresses, of course!", Kitten rudely yelled at Starfire. She laughed with her mother. The two had a reputation for the worst humor in town. Terra just got lucky for being the odd-one-out.

Terra felt horrible for Starfire, so she tried to make her feel a bit better. "Star, guess what? I've bought a pizza just for you with your weird and favorite topping, mint frosting! How about that?" Terra whispered to Starfire.

"Thank you, sister, but I must go now and make your dresses," Star said, feeling a rare sadness and walked away.

Starfire sewed the clothes, put some ribbons and glitters and sewed some more. She gave it all to her stepmother and stepsisters. All of them doesn't appreciated it but Terra does, she said thanks, at the very least.

Star was outside of the house while leaning against the wall that faced the royal palace. She saw her stepmother and stepsisters rode on and they were off to the castle. When they're gone, Starfire just stared at the magnificent monument and sighed.

Raven soon joined her. She leaned beside Starfire and said, "Let me guess, your monsters won't let you come to the castle as you're a _maid,_"

"You are very wise, friend Raven," replied Starfire, trying to be her cheerful self.

"Oh come on Star, you can't hide it. I know you really want to go..." Raven got cut off by Starfire.

"So, why didn't _you_ go, friend Raven?", Star asked, changing the topic.

"I didn't really want to. My bosses won't let me come anyway," Raven answered. She knows Starfire was trying her best to think about something else, but failed miserably.

"I really want to go!" Star yelled and a drop of tear started to flow down her cheek.

"I know, Star. I know," said Raven, calming Starfire down by holding her shoulder.

"I wish... we could go to that castle...", sobbed Starfire, she couldn't help but cry...

Suddenly, a little twinkle appeared in front of both of them and another twinkle and another one, and another,and soon, more sparkling twinkles were appearing. Then, a bright light flashing between the twinkles and a tall figure stood before them, smiling...

* * *

Rae: I cannot believe I'm in that story... with a last name. 

Syani: Believe it.

Rae: In that case, I'll kill you!

Syani: Do it and you'll be the fairy!

Cy: Wait a sec! Does it says here...

Syani: Yup!

Cy: Really?

Syani: Sure!

Cy: You sure?

Syani: Yes!

Cy: Are you _not_ sure?

Syani: Nope!

Cy: Dammit! (thinkingof other ways to prevent his character)

Robin: So, whose narrating?

Syani: You are!

Robin: What! Me?

**Disclaimer: I don't own TT, but I own this story. It counts... right? (Close enough Syani, close enough)**


	3. The Unexpected Miracle

Chapter 3: **The Unexpected Miracle**

**Disclaimer: Me and Syani don't own Teen Titans. If we did, we'd put our O.Cs in them! BUAHAHAHA!**

Rob: But I don't even know how to narrate!

Syani: Just do your best Rob. If Cy can do it, you can to. I mean, you're _Robin,_ right?

Star: Yes, friend Syani is most right, it does not occur something hurting, correct?

Rob: All right, all right! I'll do it!

Rae: Now, why am I the maid again?

Syani: Because you are not suitable for the fairy of course.

Rae: Point taken.

BB: So, come on! When am I in the story?

Syani: Patience, Beast Boy, patience…

Rob: You call this a script? If I had the… say, where's Cyborg?

Syani: Changing…

Titans: Changing! For what?

* * *

Robin (narrator): Raven was ready in a stance to kick whoever… or whatever's between those twinkles. When the twinkles and lights were gone, Starfire and Raven could see a large man that was half-machine standing right in front of them. Emm…mmm… (Robin was struggling not to laugh) 

"Who are you? Metallic man with ballet outfit?", asked Starfire, as sweetly as she could be. _She's always nice, isn't she?_

I'm your Fairy God-Friend, y'all!", he said. He wore a pink vest and tutu. In fact, he doesn't look so magical at all. Even in the night. With pink, wings?

"And why are you here?" Raven asked with suspicion in her tone. She was still in a stance.

"Because those darn fairies up there sent me!" The fairy roared. "The whole lot of them were lazing around all the time and they know I'm only good with car problems! And they just shooed me out because I'm… I'm PUDGY!"

Raven and Starfire were already several feet away from the huffing tutu-wearing, bulging, big bucket of bolts. _Cyborg's pudgy? This is getting ridiculous…_

**Robin (narrator): **When Cyborg the fairy cooled down after a refreshing drink of motor oil, Star and Rae raised their eyebrows in confusion. "No, friend Raven here means, what is the reason of your sudden presence here, strange fairy creature?", said Starfire when she spotted a pair of fairy wings behind that, strange, fairy, creature, thing?

"Okay, first of all, my name's Cyborg. Second, I'm here not because I wanna hurt you…", the robotic fairy said, turning to Raven when he saw her fighting stance.

"Third, I have to help y'all get in that pretty castle over there if I wanna get back to Fairy-Land. Ya dig?" continued Cyborg.

Starfire jumped in happiness even though she doesn't understand much of his words. Raven rolled her eyes at the rather predictable and overly clichéd plot device, not to mention that he has pink wings behind his back...

"Okay, I need something large, like a pumpkin or something," said Cyborg while intently looking around for one.

"we do not plant pumpkins in this area, but I have a pizza!", said Starfire as she remembered the pizza Terra bought for her this morning. Star waited for Cyborg's answer. He had a slightly bewildered look on his face but said, "Okay, at least it's big,"

Starfire ran in her house and came back with the pizza. "Mint frosting?" asked Raven when she took a whiff at the pizza. Cyborg's face was now looking as green as the pizza itself, but nodded in approval. _That green cannot be natural!_

"Now, I need something…" but before Cy could finish, he was cut off by Raven.

"I've got two microchips and a rat, happy?", she said, showing Cyborg the things from her larger-than-life pockets. Starfire recoiled at the rat who was busy struggling from Raven's surprisingly strong grip, "Where did you get those, friend Raven?" She gave a look to Starfire that screamed: if I told you, you'd wish you'd never existed. It worked, on Cyborg who took one glance at Raven and was already cowering behind a bush, squealing like a little girl. Starfire chuckled at the big man's cowardice. _Now that's just pathetic…_

"Well, forget a squirrel and a pair of Ipods!" exclaimed Cyborg as he got out of the bush, pretending that none of that ever happened, "This is even better! Now, for da magic word!" he scratched his shiny, metallic head as he tried to remember the word.

"Oh yeah!" Cyborgexclaimed as he took out a wrench-shaped wand (Raven suspected it is a wrench), and shouted, "BOO-YAH!" and the wand emitted a blue-ish beam of light.

The lights made contact with the pizza and it turned into the T-car? The microchips turned into a pair of tiaras and the rat turned into a furry chauffeur suit? Cyborg wiped a tear off his eye at the sight of his masterpiece (the car of course), either that or the rat suit's stinging his eye. _Who wrote this script?_

"Dude! That is SO WRONG!" yelled a puffy-eyed Beast Boy. "He can't just turn that poor rat into a piece, skinned, stretchy, something! That is so WRONG!".

Robin pushed him away from the microphone. "Beast Boy! Stop hogging the mike! You'll ruin the scene!"

**Robin (narrator): **Now stay there and would you stop crying over the rat, please! Oh, err... A Cinderella Story is back from commercial people! Enjoy! Whew…

"Since the _two _of you want to go, I need to say, DOUBLE BOO-YAH!", yelled Cyborg again as a pair ofradiant beamsmade contact with Starfire and Raven.

Starfire's gown was changed into a glittering purple dress, She wore long, white gloves and a pair of aqua blue glass shoes. Her hair was tied up like a bun.

"Whoa, and I thought she looked good in prom!", Robin whispered to Beast Boy while hoping the mike didn't catch that. It did. "Dude, snap out of it! You're narrating, remember?" replied BB.

**Robin (narrator): **Alright, alright, don't make a rat suit out of it… Raven's clothes on the other hand, were changed into a blacksatin dress that rivalled the starry night, and Starfire's as well. She still wore her same old navy blue cloak, but it's now adorned with beautiful pearl-white symbols that accentuated Raven's lovely pale skin. _Whoa…why is there more stuff about Raven than Star? Beast Boy gets all the luck…_

If Starfire's magical change in attire took Robin's breath away (and his rather weak comment), Raven's wonderful makeover made Beast Boy shout out, "Dude! RAVEN! YOW! She is looking HO-OT!" The 'love-sick wonder' and the 'love-crazed jokester' couldn't help but shamelessly goggle at the 2 lovely little girls.

"Am I good?", Cyborg asked, hoping for a good remark or two

"Yes, this outfit is most beautiful!", Starfire exclaimed.

"It's nice…," muttered Raven as she checked the surroundings around her. _Did Robin and Beast Boy shouted that we looked hot? I look hot? Beast Boy thinks I look hot? Whoa, hold that thought Raven! Just because he thinks I look hot, that doesn't mean he likes me! …am I really that _hot

"All right, let's get briefed then shall we, ladies? The two of you are going to be disguised as princesses," Cyborg said, "and I'll be disguising as your ever faithful, gutsy, and wickedly handsome, chauffeur!" the big fairy added with unnecessarily, unimpressive pride.

"Briefed? Why would we not wear briefs?", Starfire asked innocently enough. Raven coolly explains to Starfire that 'briefed' means to be informed. Starfire blushed at her silly mistake.

"Okay, y'all, this part here is real important. The magic will turn your clothes, my 'baby', and this furry, yet comfy suit of mine back to normal right after the last ring of the 12 midnight bell, so better pick up the pace if you two wanna get a slice of cutie pie!", said Cyborg. Star and Raven nodded with only Raven understanding it, but wishing she didn't.

The three got into the T-Car and drove off to the palace of Hopolus City. _Hopolus? This story's getting hopeless…_

"Why does it have to be the T-Car? I mean, it's always been a carriage!", Robin whispered to BB. He was never really comfortable with non-clichéd themes. When the Titans watched Shrek for the first time, Robin sued, and swore, and sued some more. Every Titan carried a tranquilizer dart ever since.

"Well, how would I know! Maybe it's a retro, fantasy, world, thingy? Like Shrek," said Beast Boy. Before Robin could even strangle Beast Boy for mentioning Shrek, a deep, grating voice shouted behind them, "You two, get dressed! You're up next!" Robin and Beast Boy turned to see who it was, and went dead rigid. Standing right in front of them in his full glory was…_tun_, _tun_, _tun!_... Batman himself. Sort of.

Other than his black mask, the caped crusader was wearing the Martian Manhunter's cape, Green Lantern's tights, Flash's shirt and Wonder Woman's crown. As a matter of fact, he doesn't look so glorious at all. Even with Hawkgirl's mace. And Superman's trademark underwear. And with lipstick on his cheek. And lips.

By the look on their horrified, _horrified, _faces, Batman shrugged and said, "Wonder Woman thought it might be sexy, okay?"

Robin suddenly walked over to a random corner and started to act like…_tun_, _tun_, _tun!_...Gollum. "Batman and Wondy Woman, no, no, precious! No! Not those two… sitting in a NO! NO TREE! NO TREE PRECIOUS, NO, NO! K-I-S-S-precious-I-N-NO-NO-G-NO-G-PRECIOUS! NO, my precious, not those two, not those two sitting in a treeee, K-I-S-S-I-N-G! PRECIOUS NO! NO! My preciousss…" he sang and whimpered in a pathetic, Gollum-like voice.

Batman and BB (not sitting in a tree) were very ready to scramble out of the booth in case Robin and something really, really …_tun_, _tun_, _tun!_... Gollum-like. Too late.

"Err, Robin, that's not a juicy sweet fish. It's microphone,"

The two watched in terror as Robin begins to gobble up the mike, much to the dismay of the actors and actresses in the scene. Starfire fainted. Raven barfed. Beast Boy took out his tranquilizer dart and aimed.

"Preciousss… Batman… Wondy Woman… story…crazy …crazy … my preciousss …and we catch a fish… from a shiny pool… so nice and cool… so juicy sweeeet…

* * *

After 4 weeks of intensive therapy and cuddling bunnies, Robin was back to his normal and obsessive self again. 

Star: Oh Robin, I am so glad you are not acting like that sulky creature from the Ring Lord movie anymore! (hugs Robin and leaveshim blushing red)

Cy: Yeah dawg, after hearing you munch up that microphone, I thought you finally lost it! Again!

Rob: I thought so too, but I've got to admit, that mike did taste pretty good, can't put my finger on what kind of fish though…(the Titans stares at him, with Cyborg loading his tranquilizer)

Dis: Actually, it tastes like durian, not a fish of any kind.

BB: So, what's a duria… hey, who're you?

Dis: I'm Syani's friend, Dis. The editor of this story. Like what I'm doing. Don't answer that, I wanna savour the moment... (pretends to wipe away a tear of joy). Anyways, a durian is a large green thorny fruit. In my region (South-East Asia), it's titled the King of Fruits! I've got some right here.

Dis shows them a bowl filled with yellow lumps with a smell so incredibly pungent, it made Cyborg unconscious.

Rob: Sweet! Mind if I have a taste? (grabs the bowl and starts wolfing it down while the others close their noses)

BB: Eww, how can you stand stench! It's almost as bad as my underwear!

Rae: So, aside from the nasty fruits, what have you exactly edited anyway?

Dis: Oh, not much. A little sprucing here, a little changing there, oh, and I got rid of Slade, he'll overcomplicate things! (Robin drops his bowl of fruit)

Rob: (grabs Dis by the collar) You could've gotten SLADE in this story, but you DECIDED TO GET RID OF HIM? (Lets Dis go and starts to act like Gollum again) So clooose my precious… but do not worry preciousss Slade… we will find you… my precious Slade… and when we do… we WILL…

Cyborg fires the tranquilizer, then goes unconscious. Again.


	4. 2 Freaky Little Boys

**Chapter 4: 2 Freaky Little Boys**

**Disclaimer: We still don't own Teen Titans! If we did, we'd up season five's quality by a few notches. Yes, yes, we wwwill...**

After 5 weeks of_intensive_ therapy, cuddling bunnies (including Raven the bunny), and eating loads of durian, Robin is still suffering from the Gollum syndrome.

Star: I fear that friend Robin has finally gone, what was that word? Bonkers?

Rob: Lets me go, precious! We must find the precious Slade! I must finds him! We wants him! LETS ME GO PRECIOUS! (Thrashes around in a straitjacket)

Dis: Maybe I should've kept my big mouth shut after all.(Starfire's eyes starts to glow green, and advances on Dis)

Star: Because of your incompetent mentioning of Slade, my Robin is now suffering dearly! You will PAY!

Dis: AAAAAAAHHHHH! (Runs away screaming like a little girl while dodging a fury of starbolts)

Syani: Wait! Wait, Star! As much as I like to see Dis squirm like a decapitated ant, I've got a cure for Robin!

Titans: You do? What is it! Tell us! Quick! Why are you staring at us Syani, and, hey- why are we all talking at the same time?

Syani: No idea. But through days of researching, blackmailing, and durian-eating, I've finally found a cure for Robin. (Walks carefully towards Robin who's gargling like Gollum)

Robin: Master… you comes to frees us? We will promises to finds the precious Slade, We wills… I wills… (Syani shows Robin the picture of Batman in _the suit _and Wonder Woman locked in a passionate kiss)…OH MY GAWD! NO, NO! THE ATROCITY, THE SHAME! THE HUMILIATION! OH, MY VIRGINITY my precious… hey, my voice is back, and I'm not crawling on all fours anymore, precious! I'm BACK! I'm back in my old obsessive-self again! I'm back! And away Gollum goes precious! Robin is free! FREE!

Robin jumps around in joy while the others stare.

Rae: Well, at least he's not acting like Gollum anymore.

Rob: Hey guys! Let's have some durian to celebrate my return precious! How about it?

* * *

Back in the dimension where the dastardly -maybe-not-so-but-thinks-he-is- villain, the Storyteller watches on at the Teen Titans doing an act on the classic fairy-tale, Cinderella. But Storyteller isn't the only one in Titans Tower watching the show (actually, it was broadcasted in Titans's East, the Justice League's Watchtower, and in Terry Pratchett's computer, but that's not important), beside him, tied up with very strong ropes, was Batman himself. Thankfully in his original suit, but still tied up, and sporting a crimson red hand mark imprinted on his cheek. 

"So, let me get this straight: you teleported me away from my secret date with Wonder Woman, sent me to your narrating booth ahead of your supposed schedule, just to scare out what little sanity Robin had left, then teleported me back to Wonder Woman, only to receive an extremely_ tight_ slap from her, and now you expect me to NARRATE THIS CRAZY STORY OF YOURS?" Batman furiously exclaimed.

Storyteller, who had a dastardly look on his face (a big smile with widened eyes was his idea of dastardly), replied, "Well, let's put it this way, shall we? We shall, we shall… If I hadn't teleported you away from _Wondy_ Woman, you could've received a lot more than just a slap. Kicks, uppercuts, low blows, yes, yesss…"

The words _psychotically loony sociopath _was being imprinted in Batman's mind.

"And don't you worry, Batty Watty, Batty Watty- that's funny, yessss…" Storyteller continued. "Robin has gone through a therapy session, yes he did…electric shocks, cuddling bunny Ravens, looking at photos of you getting smoochy with _Wondy_ Woman and all that CRAZINESSSS…yes, yes, but he still says 'precious' from time to time though,"

Batman gave Storyteller a look that could chew nails, and said, "And let me guess? If I don't narrate this hair-balled, insanity filled act that you call a _story_, you'll blackmail me with pictures of my date with Wonder Woman, right?"

Storyteller was clapping his hands. "Yesss… yessss… very impressive… I particularly liked the photo of you and Wondy Woman licking ice-cream together… yessss…they don't call you the cookie crusader for nothing… I like cookies ya know, chocolate chips, vanilla pudding, yummy…YUMMYYY, yesss…"

"What? They do not call me the cookie crusader! They call me…" but before he could say 'cape-and-cowl crusader', he vanished with a flick of Storyteller's wand that appeared out of thin air.

Storyteller then turned to the television and magically created a bowl of fish-flavoured popcorn and a can of R/C Cola. "Let the story…begin!" There was a moment of pause. "Again!" he added.

**Batman (narrator): **Goodness! That nutcase could've at least changed the _microphone_! And I better remind Robin to buy some breath mints… While Raven, Starfire and Cyborg were on their way to the palace of Hopolus City, another pair of friends who _lives_ in Hopolus Palace were busy sprucing up for the royal dance: Prince Robin of Bruce, _WHAT?_, and his loyal, yet idiotic cousin, Earl of B.B Shrek the 2nd? _EARL? That means Beast Boy's the king's nephew! Oh…_oh_…no, please tell me there won't be another 'Shrek conspiracy'!_

Prince Robin is the heir to the kingdom of Hopolus City. With his spiked hair, lean, yet muscular physique and his mysterious pair of sunglasses,_ those are glasses,_ he awkwardly resembles his own father, King Bruce. _He does? I'll take that as a compliment, for now. _However, as kingly as he may seem physically, he may only be crowned king when he is of age -18 years old- and has proclaimed a… fiancé? That is when the royal dance comes into play. Unfortunately, Robin's _gift_ has left him being dumped more times than the Royal Advisor, himself, and his cousin B.B can remember.

When every royal child is born, they receive a _gift_ from their Fairy-God-mother, father, uncle, aunt, cousin and friend. Unfortunately, Robin's Fairy-God Friend had a flue on that day, and misspelled the 'gift of solemn', (acting solemnly is a useful tool for a royalty, _I guess_), with the 'gift of _Gollum_'. _Oh no…oh no…_ Ever since that unfortunate day,Robin has a constant tendency to say 'preciousss' at every sentence with an even bigger tendency to croak 'gollummm, gollummm' like a pathetically mutated toad. But the worst part of the _gift_ was that he has to comment about how one looks with jewellery and other shiny accessories, in the _worst, way, possible_.

Robin's cousin on the other hand, has a very different, yet equally tragic-filled childhood. _This should be interesting... _While everyone in the royal family and court says that he was unfortunately gifted by his Fairy-Goduncle the 'gift of veggie-ness', his mother, sister-in-law to King Bruce, in fact, fell in love with a vegetarian ogre named _Shrek_, and they eloped? _This will turn out weird._ The result: one, very skinny, very vegetarian and very much humanitarian, half-ogre. _The boy's green. His last name's Shrek. Shrek is included in Robin's 'Hate, hate, hate, kill, kill, kill' list in which he's written in his daily logbook. He hasn't even mangled him yet. I need an aspirin. _

**Batman (narrator): **B.B was in Robin's bedroom sprucing up with him, _What, _because his own room was unfortunately covered with massive chunks of rotting gangrenous green meat. _Oh…WHAT?_ Two screams were heard on the evening that the meat appeared in his room.

The first was a scream of fear and shock by B.B when his eyes set foot on his completely meat covered room; the second scream was also from the young Earl, but it was because of the four arrows that was sticking in his…behind, and the servants insisted that his scream perfectly resembles that of the high-pitched squawk of a plump, ready-to-be-cooked, Rose-belly chicken. _His room was filled with rotting green meat… WHO WROTE THIS SCRIPT?_

**Batman (narrator): **"I'm telling ya Rob! Someone's out to get me! They don't drop a ton of rotting green meat in your room unless if they're out to get you! Emphasis on the green, dude! My skin colour! It's a sign, Rob! It's a…" But before B.B could finish his sentence and his hairdo, Robin clamped his mouth shut with his gloved hand. He was wearing a suit and hat with matching gloves and an untied bowtie. _That look is a throwback to the fifties. Why is he wearing something out of the fifties?_

"B.B, for the last, hundredth, _billionth_, time, it was Garbage Day, precious. The catapult that fired all that meat accidentally miscalculated the garbage dump for your balcony, precious, it was all just a, _rotten_ accident,"

B.B pried Robin's hand away from his mouth and said, "Dude, how anyone could have mistaken my balcony for a garbage dump? And why in the world would anyone throw their trash away with a catapult? Answer me that, _precious_," _Hey. Why is Beast Boy wearing an Elvis style jumpsuit from the seventies? And I thought the Justice League has a bad sense of fashion…_

**Batman (narrator): **Ignoring the fact that B.B just made fun of his _gift_, again, he coolly replied, "Precious, yet again, for the second, hundredth, _billionth_, time, your balcony is coincidentally right beside the dump, and it smells as _bad_ as your balcony, by the way," B.B wasn't looking at him, "And the army is in need of catapult practice, and if I remembered well, precious, they were dead convinced your room was _the,_ dump," Robin was already smiling with B.B the other way round.

B.B still wasn't satisfied with the evidence, and with pride in his tone, said, "Then explain the servants, or should I say, _assassins_, putting 4 nasty scar marks in my beautiful…" B.B's mouth was clamped yet again by Robin gloved hand. "Precious, I don't like the way you say… _it_, okay?" he said. "And for your desired answer, they've mistaken your scream for a high-pitched squawk of a plump, ready-to-be-cooked, Rose-belly chicken, precious, and so did the entire palace if you didn't know," _Beast Boy screams like a chicken. The irony of it all._

**Batman (narrator): **Beast Boy pried Robin's hand away from his mouth, again. "Dude, how could an entire palace full of smarty-pants royalties mistook my screa… holler for a high pitched squawk of a fat, ready to be eaten… something, something…" B.B insisted while not realizing his hair was spiking up again.

Robin's eyes were rolling like bowling balls, "Benjamin Banner Shrek the 2nd," Robin said,_ that's his character's name_? "When your scream woke me up during that night, the first thing that came into my mind was, '_dinner_'," Before Beast Boy could do anything to stop Robin from smirking, the Prince's face suddenly turned sickly sour, and he started to grab his neck as if refusing to let whatever is coming out, to come out. He failed. "_GOLLLUUM! GOLLLUUM!"_

The great, courageous and gallant Batman was now quivering in his chair like a crippled Energizer bunny running on gasoline. _…Happy…happy, thoughts, no Robin, no Robin… just happy, happy thoughts… kill Joker… kill Joker… kill Robin, no! Kill Rob…no! Kill Rob-Joke…NO! Kill Joke-Rob… AARGH! _

"Sweet! 6 sentences, a new record!" said an unnecessarily excited B.B, "That's like less than 2 sentences before! Hey, you even barfed something up! You've only done that once with that cute Baudelaire chick! And she didn't even slap you after the way you cannoned at her dress with that cream pudd…" Once again, Robin's hand came flying at B.B's lips. While gargling like that takes a whole load of wind out of him, he still had the strength to shut his cousin up, but with support from the makeup table.

He was panting over the brief, yet disgustingly embarrassing ordeal. "First… of all, don't ever… remind me of Rosy Baudelaire," he said while panting heavily, " _ever_, precious_…_and she didn't even need to… to bother, her brother did though… secondly, precious, would you stop… getting constantly… overexcited over my, 'gollumming'… it's nothing to shout about, you knoooww…"

Robin took a breather. "And thirdly, what did I barf out this time, precious?" _Did he say barf? As in, puke, vomit, disgusting residues of food left in the digestive system waiting to be dissolved? I think I'm going to be sic…ooom! Aah... AAH! Not my UNDERWEAR! Robin…_

**Batman (narrator): **My beautiful, beautiful underwear… I-I mean, B.B looked at the object Robin… puked out, and hollered, "DUDE! I think that's a…a… durian seed. DUDE!" Robin looked down, and a hard, yellowish lump the size of Robin's fist came into his sight. Robin blinked, and then blinked again. B.B took a step back and another step back. "Dude, how did a whole durian seed –the size of your fist, by the way- landed in your stomach? How did it even passed through your THROAT, for that matter?" B.B nervously asked. There were times when, even these two oddball royalties freaked each other out.

Robin thought out loud for a moment, "Hmm. Let's see, precious. Umm…after working out in the gym while listening to my Michael Buble album, precious, I… I went down to the royally messy kitchen for a snack: durians," B.B shuddered. Durians are the only fruit that B.B dislikes, yet Robin has an unmistakable craving for them, _so different. Yet so close. This should get ridiculous. _"And, oh yeah, I must've gulped the durian down when the 'Royal Advisor' caught me snacking, precious," he explained with an emphasis on the Royal Advisor.

B.B's face turned from disgust to understanding. "Oh, okay, okay, I'll buy that, I guess. That guy can make _anyone_ gulp, -anything down your throat-, in your case," he said. _Have they even met the guy yet? _B.B then posed in front of Robin. "Okay, Rob. How'd I look?" And he added when he saw the look on Robin's face. "Don't worry dude, I've plucked out all the shiny rhinestones, so keep your lousy comments to yourself, 'kay?"

Robin took a deep breath, scanned B.B from head to toe, and told him the verdict. "Well, precious, you better hike up that collar to hide that skinny neck of yours, and the shoes need polishing, your hair's spiking up again, and you look horrible in white,"_ Whoa, fashion freak. My beautiful underwear…_

**Batman (narrator): **B.B looked extremely taken back. "Dude, I told you to keep your lousy comments to yourself!"

Robin chuckled. "And I'd wish you'd keep that lousy look to _yourself_, precious," he said with that incredibly mocking smile of his. B.B opened his mouth to say something, but he's got nothing. He wasn't as good as Robin when it comes to comebacks… and small talks in general.

Then Robin suddenly opened his mouth to say, "By the way, that rhinestone belt makes you look like a gluttonous pig with gangrene, precious," A moment of pause suddenly befell upon them. "I DID IT AGAIN, PRECIOUS!" Robin shouted in despair.

He scuttled to his bedside and sulks, "I tried to ignore that stupid, shiny belt, but no… I'll never get over this curse, precious, never…" _Gee, and I thought I was moody…I wonder if the detergent in the Batcave will clean this mess on my underwear, and it's starting to stink, of salmon? Oh, my date with Diana…and Robin thinks that I don't try getting a date? I am not that reclu…I am, aren't I? Wait, why am I talking to myself? Like apprentice, like mentor… Why isn't my one-liners as good as Robin's?_

**Batman (narrator): **Feeling slightly guilty over his ignorance of not noticing his belt _covered _with sparkling rhinestones, B.B nervously walked over to the rather depressed Robin, gently placed his hand over his shoulder, and said, "Hey, don't be so hard on yourself, okay? It's not your fault that you have to mercilessly insult people wearing shiny objects…"

One look from Robin was all it took to make B.B quickly add, "My point is, Rob, nobody's perfect. Sure, some people got the looks, some people got the smarts, and some people got the _attitude,_" His pointy ears were wiggling with the predictable mention of the word 'attitude'. Robin smiled a bit.

"Everyone's got their own freaky weaknesses, dude. For some, its zits, secrets, and stupidity; for me, and the only reason why it's stopping me from hitting it big with the ladies, is my green skin, unfortunately," B.B sighed. "And in your case, your deadpan mental resemblance with Gollum.

"Who knows? Maybe our 'gifts' are a blessing in disguise." B.B continued. Robin starts to frown again. "Don't give me that look, Robin, I mean it. Okay, so they have held us back for more than a few… hundred times, but that doesn't give us an excuse to give up, ya know? Like what Elvis says," His tone expertly changed from raspy teen to king of rock and roll, "If ya made a mistake, try, and try again. Now where my curly fries?"

Robin had to laugh. "B.B, you're a barrel of laughs you are, precious.And where'd you getso philosophically knowledgeable all the sudden?"

B.B's eyes were rolling. "What you just heard, might be philosophical I guess, but my 'nobody's perfect' speech, that wasn't knowledge. That was _experience_," Robin was very, very impressed. Perhaps he may have underestimated his goofball of a cousin for what he's really capable of, but he still thinks he's a goofball.

Robin checked his watch, and itindicated that it was close to 'show-time'. "Time to go, precious," Before B.B could straighten up his jumpsuit, Robin dragged him out of the room, into the hallway, and onward to the royal dance.

* * *

Robin was sitting on a chair looking beyond depressed, with bowls of eaten durian lying around him. Starfire walks up to him. 

Star: Friend Robin, why do you seem so depressed? Is it still about the Syndrome of Gollum?

Rob: Yeah, partly, precious. But mostly because… because… I've tried so hard to get away from _him_, precious; I don't want to end up like him, but just one look at…_him_, and look at me now! A brooding, depressed vigilante with a bad fashion sense, and, oh yeah, Gollum Syndrome, precious. I'll never escape him, precious, never…

Star: Robin, do not utter those negative thoughts! Bat… your mentor never meant for it to be this way, and I am certain you will not end up like him, because you will have your friends to help you, and I am confident you will be parted from your Gollum Syndrome with our assistance; and as much you deny it, Robin, you truly are different from your mentor, and will always be. Do not give up, Robin.

Rob: (looks at Starfire) Tha-thanks Star. That really means a lot to me, I… I think I'm gonna cry…

Dis: WAAAH HAHAHAH! That was so BEAUTIFUL! WAAAH HAHAHAH! (Cries his eyes out)

Star and Rob now noticed Dis, Syani, Cy, Rae and B.B standing there.

Rob: Emm… how long were you guys standing there, precious?

Rae: Long enough to know that the two of you can audition for the remake of 'Forrest Gump". A box of chocolates included.

B.B: That was just SWEET! Why can't I get a relationship like that…?

Rae: What did you just said?

B.B: Nothin, nothin…

Dis: Okay, okay, let's pause the love scene for a while, okay? I've got an announcement to make. (clears throat) I'm gonna be in the next chapter! Acting, I mean.

Syani: WHAT! But what about me…

Dis: Well, you've gotta be a superhero first, then we'll talk…

Cy: Wait a nanosecond, dawg. You're saying you're a superhero?

Dis: Yep, okay, fellow readers, R&R please! And if you flame us for no good reason, go to hell! Or better yet, Raven's room!

Rae (and B.B); HEY!


	5. 2 Unnecessary Origins

**Chapter 5: _2 Unnecessary Origins _**

**Disclaimer: Sadly, we don't own Teen Titans. If we did, Raven will be getting her own show- oh waits, that's just me! (Disappearer)**

I know y'all are dying for the next chapter, however, if y'all will recall in the last chapter that says me and Syani are gonna be in the act as superheroes. But since I want to explain it in the conversation, it will be freaking long! So a great idea hatched up in our minds: a chapter fully dedicated to our conversation! If you think this is completely pointless, you're probably right, but for the sake of making the two OCs more interesting, here it is: 2 unnecessary origins.

* * *

…continuing their brief conversation on superheroes-on-the-set-thingy… in a lounge room with everybody sitting on sofas.

Rob: Precious, you don't look like superhero material to me, Dis. Sissy drama queen I'll believe, but not superhero, precious.

Dis: I am so a superhe… hey! Alright then, skeptic I see… well, I'll prove it to you! (jumps into a closet) Hold on a second, this'll take awhile –why is this so tight?- (shuffling, romping and bubbling noises were heard, and a small explosion followed) Hold on, let me just put this on -I'm gonna' need new gauntlets-…

…and out pops Disappearer in a tight, white rubber containment suit with a large metal casing behind his back that has steel-rimmed tubes running from it and into his strange metallic gauntlets. He had on an oversized chef's hat that covered his entire face; there were goggles around it that indicated his eyes. He has an insignia of a bowl of soup with a spoon in it on the chest of his rubber suit.

Syani: Holy catfish-and-chips, not _you…_

Dis: Behold! The teenage boy with the power of creating every kind of soup known to mankind and beyond, right out of his fingertips! Behold, Soup-dude!

Five awkward second later…

Rob: Wow, err… wasn't expecting… wow precious…! So, you can squirt any sort of soup out of your hands, precious?

Soup: Exactly, and it's 'right out of my fingertips', mind! For example, (grabs a bowl and spoon from a compartment in his metal casing) Plastic bowl and spoon that's naturally produced and one hundred percent biodegradable! I keep a couple o' these, because I'm a walking soup machine, ya see? (Presses a few shiny buttons on gauntlet, and some soupy brown liquid poured out of his finger and into the bowl) Have a go at my concoction Raven; you look like you could use a good feeding! (Shoves the bowl of soup into her hands)

Rae: (gives him a questioning look, but gave in) Goodbye world. (Takes a sip) Hmm… wow, this is… this is _amazing_. It tastes like curry, but it's creamy and has this herbal feel to it, wow… the balance is perfect and it's flowing down my throat so well! (Continues drinking the soup)

Soup: (Basks within his pride while shamelessly beaming) they seriously do not call me 'the dude of soup' for nothing, ya know! This particular soup happens to be very good for one's complexion; it gives it a glow and gets rid of fifty-percent of the skin's impurities! It's particularly good for girls, as it improves their chances of getting pregnant-

Rae: PWOOOOOFFFFFF! (Sprays soup out of throat) WWWHAT?

Soup: Yeah, it really does! This soup, which I dubbed 'Skin & Babies', increases the production of the ovum and it also encourages it's-

BB: Dude, do you realize you're about to get _the_ biggest butt-kicking of your life by Raven? Not that ya' don't deserve it…

Soup: Butt-kicking? Why? All I gave her was healthy, delicious soup. Made with the finest ingredients I could toss in my Soupinater and a dash of T.L.C as well!

Rae: (Stops turning demonic) Wait, you think what you just did was alright?

Soup: Sure, it's not like I'm giving you alcohol or anything, that's just illegal! Besides, don't you want to have beautiful, radiant skin, and perhaps a few years later, a healthy, spunky, beautiful child of your own? (Succeeds in making Raven blush, blush, _blush_) (Also succeeds in making B.B mad, mad, _mad_)

Cy: Ladies and gents, we are looking at the future of pickin' up girls, yo'! (BB glares daggers at him) Or-maybe-we-should-leave-it-to-Soupy-here! Say Soupy, how did you get all this 'soup of justice' equipment anyway?

Soup: Well it's a long story, Cyborg, but we have a whole chapter to coffee talk about it, so I'll let you guys in on the secret! Just don't call me Soupy, I resent that. (Begins storytelling mode, no relation to Storyteller)

It all began when my auntie, who's on my daddy's side of the family, married my kooky-crazy-uncle-in-law, Uncle Bobo. He happens to be a brilliant pharmacist, herbalist and all round mad scientist. I also happen to work for him as a part-time assistant in alternating months. Fifty bucks a week, how could I resist?

Now, after months of working with the guy, he always told me to never go into the backdoor, never, or he'll feed me to his pet ginseng, I dunno' why, he just says it. Naturally, I got curious. So one night, when I was doing my night-shift, -for an extra twenty bucks-, I felt all Hindi-style-gung-ho with a flair of Orlando Bloomy-ness, and I snuck into the backdoor while Uncle Bobo was in his mad scientist laugh periods. When he does that, nothing can stop him but my auntie's rolling pin.

Where was I again? Oh yes… when I entered the forbidden backdoor, I saw what was in it: a lab, a mad scientist's lab. Filled with beakers, sneakers and all kinds of –eakers! And in the middle of the lab was a table that held the very suit that I'm wearing right now: the Soupinater. I gazed upon its white, steamed-pressed material, with only one thought burning in my mind: why would my uncle have such a dorky suit in his lab?

So it is to my greatest chagrin that my auntie was there to bonk my uncle back to reality with her portable rolling pin, and he went in his lab straight after that. I turned and I saw him with the doorknob in his hand, his eyes looking at me like I was going to burn! BURN! I felt myself getting wet with fear and anxiety, not that I really wet myself or anything, it's just… anyway, instead of feeding me to his pet ginseng like he always says, he closed the door and then he gave me the big _'speech'_.

Uncle Bobo began to tell me the world –specifically, Malaysia- was beginning to rot, rot in crime, turmoil, low-quality durians and total disregard for traditional medicine! He told me that someone needs to step up, take charge and to stop all the atrocities plaguing our world. He said that he has the technology, the brains, but not the youth or energy to wear the suit. So, he said these exact words, "Boy, it is up to you to protect the world from injustice. There is no turning back; you must be the bearer of the suit."

And with that, I became the bearer. He taught me how to use the suit; he chose the power of soup because of its versatility, what? It really does work in fighting crime! I learned how to create soup and how to dish it out, in either small doses or with the force of a tsunami. Uncle Bobo also taught me a tsunami's load of philosophy in crime and super-heroism, from the Super-heroism for Dummies book. After months of hard training and rehearsals in hacking into the police crime files, I became the secret vigilante of justice, the water to flush out the shady and crime-ridden, and the soup to stir the bad guy's coop! With my trusty suit behind my small and feeble back, I became: Soup-dude!

Star: Well, slightly dorky dude of Soup friend, I must admit, your tale of origin was most enlightening and very unpleasantly nightmarish. I thank you for sharing it with us.

Soup: No problem, I think. Any who-how, what do you have to say about it, Syani? Or should I say, Firecat? (Everyone stares at a nervous-looking Syani)

Syani: Err… very unpleasantly nightmarish, with a hint of stupidity to it?

BB: Err, dude, of Soup, hey, that rhymes! (Raven eye's rolls) I thought Syani's name was well, Syani! (Syani looks around; pretending to be oblivious of what Dis is talking about)

Dis: Don't pretend to be stupid, Syani! That catnip in your pocket was a dead giveaway since chapter 1! If I've revealed my super identity, then so will you!

Syani: Oh, I wanted to keep it a low profile, but you just _had_ to suck up in front of the Teen Titans! Fine, fine! (Engulfs herself in flames, to reveal a humanoid tiger in a blue jumpsuit and reminding Star of when she turned into a cat) Ha! My change was still cooler, and more convenient!

Rob: I know I am going to seriously regret this, precious, but how did _you_ get into the super-heroics business?

Syani: Don't worry, Robin, it's not as dumb as Soupy's origins, so you can let go of Starfire's hand, thank you very much! (Rob blushes and releases Starfire's wanting hand) (Starts storytelling mode, no relation to Storyteller, _again_)

I was having a little jog around F.R.I.M, a big forest reserve in my country, thinking of more ways to booby-trap my closet from polka-dancing rats, when I heard this huge roar on the northwest side of the reserve, around five-hundred meters from my position. It was a tiger, for sure since it's the only really big cat in Malaysia. I should've had the sense to just run off screaming, but sheer curiosity and my sugar-high breakfast got the better of me.

After a lil' bit of jungle trekking and mosquito swatting, I came within sight of the tiger, and gasped: this old hag of a lady in black clothing with track pants was, shaving an unconscious tiger's back! I knew he was unconscious because later that week he asked me out on a date… (Firecat went silent to let that sink in) anyways, I hid behind a tree to get the lowdown on what's happening: that lady surely must be a bomoh or witch-doctor in the English language, and all that fur must be used for some concoction or potion-thingy.

After a little bit of that _hunk_ of a tiger's fur was taken off of him, the bomoh walked off. Naturally, I followed her. After a while, she went into this shaggy old hut, complete with cable and a disco ball for some reason; I never asked her. I peeked through a window and she was brewing a potion with that fur. Just as she was done with it, faith just turned its ugly head at me and a snake tickled my leg! I jumped, of all places, into the window and right on the potion. I felt like my skin was twisting itself and my bones burning a fiery storm, and that's when I became a humanoid tiger.

That bomoh was furious, if you all want to visit Malaysia guys, remember to never mess with an old lady with a broomstick! After a few tense and painful moments, she made a potion to turn me back into human again. When I went back home, I realized I still had cat-like characteristics, and after a few long, tedious, experimentations, I could turn back into a humanoid tiger. Accompanying with the usual tiger-strength and claws and instincts, that potion also gave me the power to shoot flames from my mouth and, well, from the _other_ two cheeks, heh heh…

I decided to apologize to that bomoh for causing her all that trouble. It was that very moment when I said sorry to her that I thought 'hey, I've got the body of a tiger and a mouth of a circus flame-thrower; I could make a career outta' this!' So I told her I wanted to be a circus performer! For some reason, she rolled her eyes, and told me 'cannot be circus performer-_lah_ you! Better be a superhero-_lah_, pay better you know!' And so, from that day onwards, I became the guardian of tigers, the bane of injustice; from that very day, I became part fire, part tiger, and all gung-ho fighter, the one and only: FIRECAT! (Imaginary fireworks shoot out in the background, impressing absolutely no one)

Titans: Alright, aside from the weird origins, you guys were saying something about getting in the act as well, so why are we TALKING AT THE SAME TIME AGAIN?

Dis: No idea… and yes, it took me awhile to decide this, but after days of researching, Snicker Bars consuming and reading cheap Doraemon comic books, me and Syani have decided that I be a crack-pot private eye disguised as a waiter, and Syani will be a rocking D.J! And that just doesn't have the impact that I was looking for…

Firecat: Wait, we didn't think that one up together, _you_ did.

Soup: Oh yeah, more credit for me then, yay! (Firecat's mouth starts to smoke) Never mind, never mind, fifty-fifty-split-way-credit then… (Firecat's mouth stops smoking) Wait, before we end this pointless excuse of a chapter, there's still one more thing to announce.

Dramatic pause…

Soup: The hero that gets to play as the Royal Advisor is… LARRY THE TITAN!

Rob: (twitches, twitches, _twitches_) La-la-la-lar…lar-lar-lar-lar… The-the T-T-TITAN, precious, LARRY THE TITAN! LARRY-LARRY-LARRY-LARRY, precious, THE TITAN!

Firecat: Holy crap, he didn't… he did… (The transformation begins once again) and here we go- INCOMING! (Dodges a stray bird-a-rang thrown by a Gollumized Robin)

Robin: NASTY LITTLE SOUP-BOY, PRECIOUS! RUINS LIFE FOR PRECIOUSES! COULD'VE GOTTEN THE PRECIOUS SLADE, BUT NASTY MASTER RUINS IT! TRICKS US WILL YOU, PRECIOUS? NOW DARK, CHIBI LORD COMES AND RUINS LIFE MORE, PRECIOUS! BUT NOW WE WILL BECOMES THE MASTER, AND WE WILL- _GOLLLUUM! GOLLLUUM!_

Firecat: Thank goodness for oversized sofas! (Everyone else but Gollum boy bunks behind a large sofa with everyone else but Rob stink-eyeing Soupy) While we try to subdue Robin and turn him back into his old psychotic-self, remember to catch our next chapter where we'll be revealing why Larry got the part and the role of King Bruce, it's not who you're expecting, but expect the expected!

Rob: (On all fours with the Gollum voice, throwing everything in his utility belt) IS IT THE PRECIOUS SLADE, FURRY MASTER? IS IT, PRECIOUS?

Firecat: Umm…no.

Rob: PRECIOUS FURRY MASTER WILL PAY!


End file.
